Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
we can only engage in such a way
magnetisation/form
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.autonomy of learning
much more tactility
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
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