Better Lift

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Rain, starting

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

13, H, grate

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

It Will Get Lighter

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

so the method has to be autonomous

yes

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

and the fake qualifier

we need to be deconstructing our identities

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf