nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry
class
⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️
part of an old note. It will get lighter.
Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the
dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh
meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
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Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
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Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
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The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
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Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos
and sounds. i had this feeling
that the code
should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in
relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike
quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of
some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
