I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

propensity within someone

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

so the method has to be autonomous

Can I see

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

yes

The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

1

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

barren land

hiding from the rain

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.