I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
"Put a blanket."
hiding from the rain
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
its good
feel you
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
god being the centre magnet
abrar?
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
that looks like my instagram account
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
as in
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
its performative
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
not their contents
all that is to say
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation