the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.


it is hopeful

Better Lift

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03


IWGD

It Will Get Lighter

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.


which magnetises chains of pins

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

autonomy of learning

i have read not even 1 book

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

magnetisation/form

Today I felt like starting

so an active mazelike process

as in

division of reality is straying away from it


Rain, starting