it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

...

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

hiding from the rain

in a post. I want to be remembered


Worse Lift

I am below everything.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever


Rain, starting

lol yea

magnetises a pin

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.


so an active mazelike process

no like which do people call me

abrar?

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things


One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

have you read

Better Lift

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

and the fake qualifier

Lift Analysis

that looks like my instagram account