yeah

lol

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

...

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

1

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

its performative

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

autonomy of learning

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

but i respect your search