I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

god being the centre magnet

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

propensity within someone

was it worth it

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

sorry i am texting like a slav

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

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what do you mean

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

its good

It Will Get Lighter

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

ion

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

and the fake qualifier

2 (actually index). two is company

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

like first name

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

It Will Get Lighter

as in

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

abrar?

isaac

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.


  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.