was it worth it

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

the site i am dreaming

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

bro i read nothing in my life

December 2025

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

Thank you, Jack

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

It Will Get Lighter

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

wait what is that

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

but really the thing should be autonomous

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

was it worth it

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me