autonomy of learning

idk

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

isaac

magnetises a pin

isaac newton

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

propensity within someone

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

lol

we can only engage in such a way

division of reality is straying away from it

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

...

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.