there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

it is hopeful

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

really i want the internet


There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

It Will Get Lighter

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.