the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

1

Rain, starting

no longer writing in the third person

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

in a post. I want to be remembered

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext