We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

bro i read nothing in my life

which magnetises chains of pins

currently

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i understand

you cannot feed someone truth

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

feel you

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

not their contents

its good

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

thank you

i was tempted to lie about my name

so the method has to be autonomous

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.