it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
it is hopeful
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
and the fake qualifier
was it worth it
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
December 2025
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
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