I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
yes
Today I felt like starting
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
division of reality is straying away from it
its performative
you cannot feed someone truth
so the method has to be autonomous
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak