really i want the internet
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create
within and also produce works from.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and
I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise
this is going to be awful.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so
long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was
HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that
the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece
in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality
should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic
hypertext
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of
some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
in a post. I want to be remembered
