feel you

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

so an active mazelike process

Rain, starting

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

"Put a blanket."

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

as in

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

so the method has to be autonomous

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

so at the end

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

propensity within someone

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

much more tactility

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Better Lift

you cannot feed someone truth

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them