the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
so at the end
...
was it worth it
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
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December 2025
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
the site i am dreaming
...
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.