I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
it is hopeful
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
brb i will read and reply sincerely
yes
currently
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
but i respect your search