but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
so an active mazelike process
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Can I see
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
but i respect your search
wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?