nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

Better Lift

in a post. I want to be remembered

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

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Rain, starting

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

13, H, grate

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thank you, Jack

Better Lift

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

I am below everything.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given