feel you

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

I Write Goodbye Letter

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

not so on: yvf(wthw)

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Lift Analysis

Thank you, Jack

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

we need to be deconstructing our identities

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.

It Will Get Lighter

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

like first name

magnetises a pin

or never left

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really i want the internet

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."