Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

what do you think my name is

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

abrar?

i really havent

was it worth it

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

ahnaf abrar

we need to be deconstructing our identities

bro i read nothing in my life

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

or never left

no i haven't really read anything

magnetises a pin

i really havent

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

i have read not even 1 book

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Can I see

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

Rain, starting

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."