the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

1

yes

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

no longer writing in the third person


with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

really i want the internet