ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

was it worth it

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

currently

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

IWGD

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

...

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

autonomy of learning

all that is to say

I Write Goodbye Letter

...

Slug