I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

...

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

It Will Get Lighter

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

i really havent

wait what is that

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

i really havent

its good

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

which magnetises chains of pins

its good

and the fake qualifier

2 (actually index). two is company

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

i love it here

what do you think my name is

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

its performative

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

so the method has to be autonomous

I Write Goodbye Letter

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

thank you

ahnaf abrar

god being the centre magnet