We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful



After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

yes

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it


something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

It Will Get Lighter

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

brb i will read and reply sincerely



The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

IWGD

i love it here