really i want the internet

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Better Lift

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it is hopeful

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

It's

dusk

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

but really the thing should be autonomous

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

"Put a blanket."

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.