was it worth it

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Better Lift

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

much more tactility

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

all that is to say

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

Style


mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

division of reality is straying away from it

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-" 
        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

so the method has to be autonomous

magnetisation/form

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

currently

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Picture

that looks like my instagram account

It Will Get Lighter

so an active mazelike process

lol

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

yeah