I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

13, H, grate

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

so the method has to be autonomous

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

so an active mazelike process

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

its good

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

thank you

stalgivc is the greatest poster of all time

no longer writing in the third person

barren land

2 (actually index). two is company

yeah

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

Picture

whats your name?

I Write Goodbye Letter

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting