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something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
it is hopeful
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
I am below everything.
Better Lift
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46