the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I am below everything.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

hiding from the rain

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

no longer writing in the third person

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Rain, starting

Better Lift

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

"Put a blanket."