no longer writing in the third person
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
I am below everything.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
yes
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
your feed looks like my tumblr
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.
division of reality is straying away from it
but really the thing should be autonomous