December 2025

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

2 (actually index). two is company

not so on: yvf(wthw)

Slug

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

and the fake qualifier

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

I Write Goodbye Letter

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46