with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
we can only engage in such a way
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
Lift Analysis
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
Thank you, Jack
my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given
autonomy of learning
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything