I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

1

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

"Put a blanket."

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

hiding from the rain

no longer writing in the third person

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

so an active mazelike process

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

is this you as well

abrar?

i want to do that too

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

IWGD