it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
but really the thing should be autonomous
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
but i respect your search
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
Lift Analysis
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08