something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
kind of mythopoesis
i see a website
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24