I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
as in
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
no longer writing in the third person
propensity within someone
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
you cannot feed someone truth
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
its good
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
so the method has to be autonomous
bro i read nothing in my life
my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given
was it worth it