I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Rain, starting

It Will Get Lighter

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Worse Lift

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

which magnetises chains of pins

i have read not even 1 book

barren land

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

its good