the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

brb i will read and reply sincerely

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

abrar?

have you read


something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.


I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.


to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

plato

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

...

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext


i was tempted to lie about my name

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

part of an old note. It will get lighter.
and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging