no i haven't really read anything


nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

bro i read nothing in my life


...

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

idk

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

2 (actually index). two is company

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

really i want the internet

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

feel you

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

It Will Get Lighter

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."