yes
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
no longer writing in the third person
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
"Put a blanket."
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
it is hopeful
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
all that is to say
idk
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08