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much more tactility
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
i dont understand magnetisation
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
have you read
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
plato
so at the end
magnetisation/form
but really the thing should be autonomous
in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
like first name
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
lol