After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

IWGD

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

no longer writing in the third person

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

currently

Picture

Rain, starting

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Worse Lift

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

it is hopeful

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

Today I felt like starting

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

its good

ahnaf abrar

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

is this you as well

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.