something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

But seriously, thank you, Jack

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

autonomy of learning

but really the thing should be autonomous

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.