I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

IWGD

hiding from the rain

"Put a blanket."
in a post. I want to be remembered

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

2 (actually index). two is company

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

Better Lift

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

But seriously, thank you, Jack, for telling me that I could submit this to a high-level literary magazine or creative nonfiction outlet with some minor tweaks. I don't think I will do that.

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.