but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
kind of mythopoesis
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
and the fake qualifier
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.
so an active mazelike process
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
i understand
Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.
My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.
i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
...
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.