i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
hiding from the rain
so the method has to be autonomous
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
Today I felt like starting
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
so an active mazelike process
it is hopeful
Lift Analysis
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.
As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.
My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.
13 | | | H | | | . . . . | . . . . | . . . . | . . . . | |